Just finished chapter 3. This is where I'm struggling right now, nap time. For the past 3 years this has been my break, my time, my rest. It's slowly inching away from me as my daughter is about to turn 4 on Sat. But wait, she's the one that's quick to obey, to please, and to listen. She'll endure "rest" time calmly and quietly even if she's playing babies in her room. However, my son is a different story. His only fault is loving Mommy too much :) He wants to be where I am all the time, and how many times has he said, "I'm hungry?" He hasn't grasped the "rest" part of my little speech, and on most days his 2 1/2 yr. old little body does nap. But on days like today when I WANT to do my Bible study and I WANT to get things ready for the birthday weekend... not a chance. Instead, he's bringing me some pretend cake from his pretend kitchen with his pretend oven mitt on. And his sister who was quietly resting has just informed me she has "work to do."
In the past on days like today where everyone's tired and could blow up at any moment given the right trigger, I've come unglued only to regret it later or find myself questioning once again, "Did I handle that correctly?" If I'm really honest, most of those times is my frustration in the fact I selfishly didn't get to do what I wanted to. I find that the moments I come unglued the most happen when I've got a lot going on in my schedule. For the most part, I am pretty laid back, but I can "freak out" when it comes to my to-do list and the fact I wanted it all done yesterday. And in these moments I do feel attacked with slapping on labels of inadequacy. I love that God's not done with me yet, that He's already prepared something in advance for me to do, and tonight I can REST in that truth! (Eph.2:10)
So, I will eat some pretend cake, revisit my Bible study later, and try not to watch the clock until Daddy comes home from work!
God, chisel away my selfishness, create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me (Ps.51:10) as I run the race marked out for me (Heb.12:1).
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